The Struggle is Real

I teach a Women’s Bible study weekly, Titus 2 Women’s Bible Study Fellowship via Zoom. We have started a study of the Pentateuch. We have just finished chapter 3 of Genesis. We have been so blessed by revisiting Genesis as Moses narrates how God created something from an empty dark formless and void nothing, Genesis 1:1. So often the sin and downfall of man dominates many discussions about Genesis, but the Spirit has led the study and fixed our hearts toward the goodness, grace, mercy, love, and compassion of the perfect God. God could have unleashed his full wrath on Adam and Eve; it could have been death and complete alienation immediately. Instead, He punished graciously and mercifully while making provisions for them, then to included us in the total plan of redemption. Praise break…. Ok, to continue…

I am so reminded of Ephesians 2:8-10, bear with me, I have made it personal, “It is by grace that I am saved through faith, not of myself, it is a gift of God, not of works, lest I boast; I am His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared before-hand, therefore, I should walk in them.” The study in Genesis solidifies the gift of salvation even more for me. Perfection is no longer my aim. No longer am I in bondage to my failing attempts to be perfect. Seems as though, perfection was at the top of the list of my daily agenda. My mistake was forgetting that excellence and perfection are not synonymous. Only the Lord our God holds the title of true perfection.

My priority is to perform my daily tasks to the glory of God governed by the specifications outlined in the Word of God that should spring forth from my heart. “Thy word, I have hidden in my heart that I may not sin against Thee”, Psalm 119:11. Therefore the priority of priorities is the banner of prayer with the washing of the Word as it reminds me that my perfection comes from a permanent stain of the blood of Jesus.

Many days, my ritual of self-examination had become a heavy weight, even after confession and repentance, instead of rejoicing with gratefulness for the mending of fellowship with God and the provision of confession and repentance from God, I would hang onto guilt and shame way too long.  Replaying the transgression in my mind to the point of weariness. Not so much because I sinned against God, but because I missed the mark again, hence… perfection. Lord save me from myself. 

Diving into and unpacking the scriptures in Genesis have been maturing me in my dealing with constant struggles, not giving into excuses, but accepting the oppositions in the ongoing war between God and His enemies (sometimes self), and the Angel of darkness, i.e., Satan with his demons.  “And I will put enmity between you and the woman, And between your seed and her Seed; He shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise His heel”, Genesis 3:15.

The Lord has empowered me to be more gracious to myself and to remember that I will struggle at times, I will stumble and even utterly fall. God has given me power and increases my strength. With that, Isaiah 40:29-31, “He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might, he increases their strength, the youth will faint and is weary, the young man will utterly fall, but they that wait upon the Lord will mount up with wings like an eagle, they shall run and not grow weary and walk and not faint”.

 I am still in this daily fight as the Lord conditions me with His providential hands. He is the potter and I am the clay. He makes provisions for me as He molds and shapes me into being recognizable to the world as His image bearer. There is much work to be done, yet I rejoice today for the things that He has done and for how far He has brought me. It is even because of His grace that I can make this observation.

The struggle is real. Onward, I am most grateful for my advocate our Lord Jesus the Christ, who sits at the right hand of God the Father making intercessions on my behalf without ceasing.  “My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous” 1 John 2:1. Lest I forget, in my weakest times, the Holy Spirit makes intercessions for me, Romans 8:34. Let us pray for one another as we win these battles.

The journey flows,

Zephany